A List Of Things That Are Not Single-Handedly Destroying The World, But They’re Not Helping It Either

Podcasts
There are objectively too many podcasts. I am aware that statistically, at least half my audience probably has their own podcast, and I have a message for you: KNOCK IT OFF! I’m not saying all podcasts need to go, but we need to seriously limit who can buy those microphones on sticks. To have a good podcast, you need a specific angle; something to make you stand out.

Here’s a list of things that can make a podcast good or at least worthwhile:
- Access to unique resources
- Thorough research team
- Host with funny personality, but ugly face
Here’s a list of things that make a podcast immediately bad
- Any type of rewatch podcast (sorry The Lonely Island, even you. Former celebrities need to stop capitalizing off of the one successful project they did fifteen years ago.)
- Two friends who think they’re funny
- When the podcast is recorded over Zoom
- Posting the ‘podcast’ to YouTube with video (it’s not a podcast if it’s on a screen)
Overall, we should get rid of 85% of political podcasts, 95% of entertainment podcasts, and every single sports podcast.

Nostalgia
I love nostalgia. Who doesn’t? The world sucks now, but it was good when you were a kid, so anything that reminds you of your childhood is good, except no it’s not. Sequels, reboots, references. This stuff is making pop culture so repetitive. Sequels and reboots have been complained about enough, so let me complain about references for a sec. STOP IT. Not every music video needs to be inspired by a ‘90s movie. Have an original thought. Create an original outfit. Stop plagiarizing individuality.

Actually, you know what, I’m not better than complaining about sequels.

I am a believer that instead of making a sequel, change the names of the characters and call it an original story. I don’t care if it’s derivative. Guess what Aaron Sorkin? You can write another movie about a social media empire and not call it The Social Network 2. Stop adding onto perfectly complete independent films just because your marketing team is lazy and/or underfunded.

Pranks
Stop making people feel bad or confused on purpose. It’s usually not funny enough to be worth it. Also cancel all prank shows and delete all YouTube channels where a husband and wife take turns pulling progressively more inhumane/straight up illegal pranks on one another. Just to clarify, I’m talking about pranks that take more than 5 minutes of planning. If your prank’s planning and execution takes less time than that, and it's mostly wholesome, you keep doing you.

People Who Make Shrek a Big Part of Their Personality
To me, this is just a way of telling the world that you’re not that funny on your own. Now, it’s totally fine to enjoy the movie. Hey, I will barely judge you if you have a Shrek poster on your wall. But, if you have ever seen that Shrek butt toothpaste dispenser and thought, “I want that,” you’re not an interesting person, and you should work on developing a unique personality.